O IO AIAI PHEU

i am under the rock  
that decodes all those deeds
the ones that got incinerated  
in north carolina. 
a natural chemical in my thoughts  
causes the drawing of a line  
between someone i love being murdered
and me eating meat.  
why are people so mean? 
i don’t understand the significance of electra.  
it saddens me. 
when a sci-fi movie makes me love,  
i’m that way with guilty shivers.  
sometimes i think i’ll never be able
to can my brain for the future.  
today i said out loud to my friend  
“i’m a broken philosopher that doesn’t work”. 
i wish it had been me who bought this house with her. 
heard a description of surgery on a paperthin  
premature human’s organ, 
how when you scrape the infection off a thing so young,
you remove part of that thing. 
lines of my poems start occuring to me, 
and it makes me feel like how i was
friends with mayakovsky in the other basement, 
went to his party, watched him entertain that child, 
and later, saw his blood sprint to one finger.  
i was in a kitchen.
i steered a guy to the baked beans.  
pieces of my memory  
have floated past my feet and seemed  
like a fish.