merrily merrily merrily merrily

miscegnation in 3 parts

MISCEGNATION IN 3 PARTS

MUTT1

I DIDNT LIKE MY NAME
MOM WAS THINKING OF NAMING ME NOAH
LIFE CAN BE EASIER

THERE ARE HURDLES to me BUT PALATE THEM
MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM
WORTHY OF SOMETHING GOOD


MUTT2

I DONT KNOW WHO I AM
I HEAR STEPS AND BECOME AFRAID
HARD TO EXPLAIN THE PAIN IN MY BODY
TIGHT
TOO OPEN-ENDED
FEEL A GRAVITY OF CONSTRICTION
CRUSHING ME
WANTING ME DISAPPEAR
I FEEL AN AVERSION TOWARDS GOOD THINGS
I FEEL AN AVERSION TOWARDS BAD THINGS
I FEEL INHERENTLY WRONG
I AM ANGRY
LIKE WHEN YOU ARE HURT
AND YELL AT SOMEONE WHO IS
TRYING TO HELP YOU friend
BECAUSE YOU ARE ANGRY AT REALITY
MODEL SAYS NO PAIN
BOTH LONGING AND DESPISING the THEY; THAT WHO YOU
THINK COULD REMEDY THIS
BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT HERE NOW

THEY ARE WITHHOLDING THEIR CAPACITY ALLEVIATE SUFFERING of course!!

NO ONE KNOWS IF IT WILL BE OK
I WONT EAT THIS MICROWAVE DINNER
I WONT EAT ANYTHING
EXCEPT IN THE NIGHT WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING
I WILL
EAT ON MY OWN TERMS
YOU ARE ALONE AND NEED TO KNOW IT WILL BE OK
LIKE YOU SHOULDNT BE HERE
THAT LIFE IS TELLING YOU TO STOP
EVERYONE KNOWS THERE IS SOMETHING
WRONG WITH YOU


MUTT3

I USE TO
CALL MYSELF
“MUTT”
BEAT YOU TO THE PUNCH
MAKE EVERYONE FEEL
MORE COMFORTABLE IN
THE FACT THAT ONE
OF THESE THINGS IS
NOT LIKE THE OTHERS

I AM VAGUE AND
UNCATEGORIZED

I WANT TO MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE

I WANT TO MAKE ME
COMFORTABLE TO YOU

PROVIDE A PEG YEARNED FOR
TO PLACE IT MYSELF MAKES IT
EASIER FOR BOTH OF US

I WISH MY NAME WAS DIFFERENT
SOMETIMES I STILL DO
SOMETIMES
                       EASIER FOR BOTH OF US